By now you’ve heard the news about Aziz Ansari’s wild night with a date. If not, here’s the watered down version:
Aziz Ansari went to a Emmy Awards after party where he met a lovely young lady who he exchanged flirty cues with. Before leaving the party, they exchanged numbers and that was that.
Shortly after, they agreed to go out for a pleasant dinner at what was probably a really hipster place in NYC, where Aziz lives. After dinner, they decided to go back to his place and continue their evening. The young lady, who remains anonymous, even mentioned in her account to Babe.net reporter Katie Way, that she was excited to be spending the evening with a well-known celebrity.
If you don’t know Aziz Ansari, he is known for his highly enjoyable and critically acclaimed Netflix Original Series, “Master of None”, which he just won the Best Actor award at this past Golden Globes. He’s also a very successful stand up comedian and a favorite cast member of the now finished show “Parks and Recreation”.
Fun Fact: “Master of None” was included in my list of Must Watch Netflix TV Shows.
Back to the story. Once they got back to Aziz’s NYC apartment, they chatted and eventually became intimate with each other. Without going further into detail, things were getting heated really fast and the young lady voiced her uneasiness, to which Ansari backed off and slowed it down.
This went on about three or four times, each ending in our lady changing her mind and admitting she was uncomfortable. Aziz was receptive to her feelings and according to the article, even said something along the lines of, “Of course, it’s only fun if we’re both having fun.”
Shortly after deciding for the last time that she didn’t want things to go further, the young lady said she would like to go home. After exchanging goodbyes, he called her a car and she went home.
That’s where the story ends and our opinions begin. Let’s take a look at both sides of the situation so that we can remain impartial, and make an informed decision instead of handing out a guilty verdict upon accusation.
Her Case:
Girl meets boy. Girl goes on date with boy after exchanging flirty texts and has a nice dinner with him, although she thinks they leave a little too hastily. Girl goes back to apartment with boy and gets intimate with him. In her account of what happened, she mentioned that she voiced her concerns four or five times that she was uncomfortable. Although she didn’t flat out say that she wasn’t interested in things getting more physical, she claims that he should have read her body language.
His Case:
Boy meets girl. Boy flirts with girl and gets her phone number. Boy texts girl and secures a date. Boy takes girl on nice date and heads back to his apartment after figuring the dinner was done. Boy flirts with girl some more and makes first move. After fooling around a bit, girl seems uneasy, so he stops. Boy and girl mingle in apartment for a while until the mood seems to have lightened so he tries again. After being intimate for a little bit longer, girl becomes uneasy again, yet remains without saying that she doesn’t want to do anything more. This continues until girl explicitly says she wants to go home. Boy, receptive to her response, calls her an Uber and says goodbye, to what he saw as a nice date, even voicing his hopes for a second date.
After looking at both sides of the story, you can see that things aren’t always what they seem. Yes, the girl felt uncomfortable, but why did she insist on staying? Yes, the boy really liked the girl and felt enough of a connection with her that he wanted to be intimate. Yes, he realized more than once that she was a bit uneasy, but has no way of knowing exactly what she’s thinking, especially if she won’t flat out say it.
There is only two positions you can take to this type of scenario. The position on the side of the girl who felt uncomfortable, or the position of a guy who thought he was on a nice date with a girl who was receptive to his advances, until she wasn’t.
What do you think? What should have been done? What should she have said to him off the bat? What should his response have been the first time she seemed uncomfortable?
One thing is for sure- there will plenty of passionate arguments on both sides. Where do we draw the line in the sand where we can tell which accusations are legitimate and which aren’t? One side of that line in the sand is in the wrong, but it depends on where you stand.
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